I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize