Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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