the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
