Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize