dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
