We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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