What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
