You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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