you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
