she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
