it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This is my gift to your gina
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
