I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
