haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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