Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
