I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
