It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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