Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
