I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The uberlube is also flammable
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
