I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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