oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
