I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
