It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
