im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
