I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize