I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
