just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
