I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
