dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
