make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
