I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
