I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
