dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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