I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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