I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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