I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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