guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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