so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
