I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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