Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
