There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize