when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
