I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think people are normalizing furries
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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