I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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