So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
