His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
