i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
