No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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