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we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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