Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
