ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
