You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
