Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
