do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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