You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
