fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
