I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You pole danced in your parka.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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