I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
