Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
