if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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